I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
