You just made me feel so damn special
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
there is another microwave in the elevator.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
