Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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