Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
