Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
