How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
