The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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