He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
