Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
