I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
