soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
