how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
