I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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