Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
