i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
