idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
