Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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