C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
