honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
