A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
