i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
