I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
