Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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