You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
