all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
worst night to have a conscience
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
