he wants to bone in the snuggie
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
