I seem to have left my pride at pride
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Randomize
