do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
