I think I am morally bankrupt
Who wears a wallet chain?!
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
So vagazzling was a success
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
