I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
What did we do last night that was yellow?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
You smell like stripper and shame
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Randomize
