seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
