I will die if light touches me.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
