You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
