did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Randomize
