fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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