How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
