I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
