Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
