Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
