shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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