Walk of Shame. In a state park.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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