He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
