Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
