is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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