When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
