the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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