I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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