dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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