Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Randomize
