So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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